I’m sitting here right now looking at the coffee table. A few of the items on it include an empty cup, the boys’ alarm clock, Case’s pajamas from yesterday, pistachio shells, several magazines, a Transformer, half a BB8 toy an unsigned permission slip, a giant fan finger from a Panthers game and the DVD of Over the Hedge. This coffee table is indicative of my life as of late. Since going back to work it’s been challenging to get much accomplished other than work and parenting. I need to clean this coffee table today. We look like hoarders.
Yesterday Case went on his first field trip. It was to Sky Top Apple Orchard. Brooks went on the same field trip three years ago when he was in kindergarten. I chaperoned both boys’ trips. It was hard to leave work behind for a little while yesterday and go on the field trip, but I’m so glad I did. Nothing is as important as these special times with our kiddos when they’re little. And I have two great friends who drove and chit-chatted in the front seat while I sat in the back and worked on my laptop and joined in the conversation as much as I could. It was a beautiful day to be at an apple orchard. The children were very well-behaved and had a ball picking apples, petting animals, going on a hayride and having a picnic lunch. Oh, how I love fall in the Blue Ridge Mountains.
My new job at Mountain South Media is in the field of digital marketing, so we work with clients on building their online presence and using that presence to grow their business. One of our current clients is a shooting range in our area. To truly partner with and market a brand, it’s obviously helpful to try out their products or services. I have only shot a gun one time in my entire life and that was out in a rural North Carolina field with an old boyfriend about 15 years ago. I shot the gun one time and handed it back to him, feeling shook up. Fast forward many years to me standing in the shooting range the other day.
I’m going to be completely honest here. I’m not a fan of guns. I wish they never existed but since they do, we have to find a way to co-exist with them on a more intelligent and peaceful level. It makes me extremely uncomfortable when I walk into a public place with my two little boys and an average citizen has a gun on his or her hip. I respect shooting ranges, such as the one I visited this week, that teach gun safety and how to manipulate a gun in the correct way.
The second amendment is not going anywhere, so we can’t just ignore it, but if it were up to me, guns would be much harder to purchase and only a select, specific, skilled group of professionals would own one. With all of that being said, it felt empowering as a woman to shoot at a target and it was a great stress reliever. While I don’t want to own a gun or be in a situation where I would have to use one, I also don’t want to be ignorant to them and the power they hold within.
I’ve been having a hard time with grief lately. When my mom passed away last August, many people told me the sadness and anger and loneliness would come in waves, which is very true. I’ll be trucking along just fine and then whamo, the dark emotions come on like a tsunami.
They also said the second year can, in many ways, be harder than the first year. And now I see what they mean. The first year after losing a loved one is spent in a fog trying to muddle through every day and figure out a new normal. When the second year started for me, I realized I was becoming accustomed to my new normal and didn’t really like it. I always feel like something is missing, like everything would be better or easier if my mom was still here. I know as time goes on, it will get better but grief is truly a process and one that takes on a life of its own. My very dear friend shared this graphic with me the other day. For those of you who have experienced intense grief, I think it will resonate with you.
Whatever you and yours are getting into today, I hope you have a wonderful Saturday. Hold on to those loved ones tight and soak in the beauty of every single moment.